


The Fourth Date

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 18:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2438387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She pushed away pretense and speculation; she kept it real.  That scared the hell out of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fourth Date

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t my usual Hotch and Prentiss but I like them. I've been having a lot of fun exploring different scenarios with this pairing. This kinda comes from [](http://citymusings.livejournal.com/profile)[**citymusings**](http://citymusings.livejournal.com/) idea of **“Hotch trying to figure out what he wants in a woman and realizes it’s Emily”**. I'm still taking [prompts and ideas](http://community.livejournal.com/lairofthemuses/63856.html).

The ride home was quiet and awkward. Hotch wasn’t quite sure why or how to make it better. Tonight was their fourth date and it went well. Hotch took her to dinner at DC Coast, which was pretty high end. They talked about a variety of things, from their childhoods (Hotch let her dominate that conversation) to favorite directors.

She loved Alfred Hitchcock and Jonathan Demme; she dominated that conversation as well. As the evening went on, Hotch found his mind wandering. He was thinking of someone else and chastising himself for it. That wasn’t fair to anyone. When she called him on it, Hotch said he was thinking about his son.

Jack was still in a transition period. His mother had been gone for almost a year and he was about to start kindergarten. Now Hotch might be bringing someone new into their lives. How long would he wait to introduce her to Jack? Would he introduce her to Jessie first?

Would that cushion the blow? Would Jack be receptive or reject her? The job still made the time together for father and son limited. Would he want to share that time with someone he barely knew? Or worse, would he want to be brushed aside as his father got to know a potential lady love?

“Aaron, you're distracted again.”

“Hmm?” He turned and looked at Melinda Danzinger. No one could deny her beauty. She had a halo of golden blonde hair, bright blue-green eyes, and a shapely body. She was a woman who didn’t feel the need to hide that. Some nights, like tonight, Hotch wished she did. He didn’t quite find it sexy; it was more than uncomfortably distracting. That wasn’t her fault—was it?—so complaining was unnecessary.

“You’ve gone two blocks past my house.” She said.

“What?” He slowed to a stop. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I am telling you.” Melinda smiled. “Why don’t you tell me what has you so distracted.”

“I don't know. My job doesn’t often allow my mind to rest.” He turned the corner intent on doing a circle. “I need to apologize to you. I'm sorry Melinda.”

“It’s alright. I know how stressful your job is, and then you're a single father on top of that. I really wish you could find an activity that was relaxing no matter what.”

“Yeah.” Hotch nodded. He was back on Parker Lane and driving toward her house. “I'm sorry Melinda.”

“You said that already, Aaron.” She put on a smile. “I'm a forgiving woman…I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me.”

Hotch wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that. Melinda seemed ready, willing, and able to take their dating to the next level. She wasn’t shy in the way she kissed him or touched him. Hotch felt the time was coming to put up or shut up. He didn’t like that feeling; sex was a sensitive subject.

There’d only been two women since Haley left and he didn’t discuss them with anyone. Kate Joyner came to his hotel room in New York and he’d had what could only be described as a fling with Dr. Renee Turner. Hotch was not proud of giving in to carnal temptations but his life had become confusing and difficult since his marriage ended. There were a few stabilizing forces but it was a bad idea to hold onto any too tightly except for his son.

He pulled up in front of her house, cutting the engine. A friendly smile crossed his lips. Melinda returned it but it seemed as if she noticed his nerves.

“You should come in for a nightcap.” She said. “I have some tea that I think you'll enjoy.”

“I probably shouldn’t. I have to pick up Jack from a friend’s house and get him home. He has camp in the morning so sleeping in his own bed is probably a good idea. My friend canceled plans tonight to look after him. The least I can do is pick him up at a decent hour.”

That last part was a lie and Hotch felt bad. He didn’t lie to people and loathed being lied to. Still, he had to do everything in his power not to go into that house. He knew what was waiting behind the closed door. He knew he would let it happen because he was lonely and wanted something he couldn’t have. None of that was Melinda’s fault…it was his fault. She smiled; it was a sad smile, placing her hand on his thigh. It was a bit high for Hotch’s comfort but he didn’t voice any objection.

“I don’t think this is going to work, Aaron.”

“What?”

“Damn, you're really cute when you pretend to be clueless. I know you're a widower and raising your son on your own. I also know you're in the FBI and really busy. None of those factors play into why this won't work.”

“What…?”

“Someone else is occupying your mind.” Melinda replied. “Please don’t bother to hide it; I don’t need to be a profiler to see it.”

“There's nothing wrong with taking it slow.” Hotch felt the need to defend himself. “I’d like to get to know you better before we start tearing each other’s clothes off.”

“No one said anything about tearing clothes off.”

“So you're inviting me inside…”

“I wanted to talk and have tea, Aaron; nothing more.” That wasn’t quite true but Melinda wasn’t going to throw herself on someone who didn’t want to play. Aaron Hotchner definitely did not want to. “Just forget it, OK? You're not ready and I'm a little too old for baby steps. I wish you the best.”

Melinda got out of the car, not looking back as she walked up the driveway. Hotch still waited until she was safely inside before pulling off. It was getting late; he needed to go and get Jack.

***

She let Jack stay up an extra hour because she enjoyed his company. They curled up on the couch with George, a bowl of popcorn, and _A Pup Named Scooby Doo_. It was one of Jack’s favorite TV shows and Emily liked it too. She loved Shaggy and also loved spending time with Jack. Why else would she volunteer to baby-sit while Hotch went on dates?

Emily was actually grateful that Jessie was away for a month for her job. It gave her more time with Jack and his father. Still, her growing love for the little boy had nothing to do with feelings for Hotch. Jack was a whirlwind all by himself. They had a lot of fun together; more fun than she’d had in a long time.

Tonight, Nat came over and the three of them made pizza together. It had been a while since Emily laughed and chatted so much. While it baked in the oven they played Memory…Jack wiped the floor with them. They ate together, shared more conversation, and then Natalie left them to their movie.

“You're not gonna watch with us?” Jack asked.

“Oh, I wish I could but I have to get home now. I had a great time tonight.” Nat said smiling.

“Me too. Big hug!” Jack exclaimed, holding out his arms.

Nat gave him what he wanted and covered his face in kisses too. She loved his little giggle; it reminded her of her own son who’d been gone for so long now.

“I’ll see you later, Jack Jack.”

“Bye Natty.”

“Call me when get home.” Emily said kissing her cheek.

“I will; have fun.”

Now Jack was sound asleep and Emily was cleaning up the F3 tornado that had gone through her living room. There were crayons, games, Legos…Jack came with quite a lot of accessories. Still, toys and books and food stains beat diapers and spit up by a mile. Everyone who knew her knew that Emily Prentiss’s biological clock was ticking. It was ticking so loud that everyone heard it. What most people didn’t know was that she was petrified of infants.

Once a kid was potty trained and ready to have a conversation, no matter how nonsensical, Emily was ready. Unfortunately, or fortunately for her body, she couldn’t give birth to a toddler. Emily was only getting older; perhaps adoption was the way to go at this point. She just wanted to be a mom…to give love to a great kid. She didn’t want to lose all hope yet, Emily was a fighter. She never backed down from a challenge and her love and will were both strong.

Pouring herself a glass of Riesling, Emily curled up on the couch with her favorite overstuffed pillow, and lit a Cherry Vanilla clove. The flavored poison filled her lungs and felt good. They were illegal now but Prentiss knew a guy who got a hook up at a reasonable price. She only thought for a minute that it might not be in the best interest of an FBI Agent to be engaging in illegal activity. She’d deal with the fine if she got slapped with it.

It had been a long evening, a fun evening, but it felt good to finally sit still. Emily could hear the rain now falling outside…she would definitely sleep well tonight. Anita Baker was on the radio and that brought calm over the room as well. The weekend was coming; tomorrow was Friday.

Barring something drastic, and they all knew how quickly something drastic could happen, the BAU would have a weekend off. Maybe Emily could luck up and squeeze in a Sunday brunch with Jack. Maybe she could squeeze in some time with his dad as well. She hoped she wasn’t being shameless.

The voice of the sultry songstress made Emily think of Jason Gideon and days gone by. She missed him; missed his frankness and his open door. They could talk about anything and Jason always had this way of getting things out of Emily she either didn’t acknowledge or didn’t even realize she was carrying inside of her. So many things happened in the past four years since she joined the BAU. Emily couldn’t believe where she was in her life.

She started to sing along to _Sweet Love_ , laughing to herself. She would never sound as good as Anita but her heart was in the right place and this song resonated with her. That troublesome muscle really packed a wallop over the years. Even with the best of intentions it frequently led her in the wrong direction. She’d had it broken so many times it was hard to trust it anymore.

Still, when it started on one of its journeys she reluctantly followed. Caged so long, it seemed worth it when it burst through all her commands to stop and think. Emily would never describe herself as an optimist. She just found it impossible to give up on love, even when she thought she had and no matter how much she might want to.

Halfway through her second clove, it was that kind of night, there was a knock on her door. Emily looked at the grandfather clock; it was 10:17. With a dinner reservation at seven that was enough time for a meal and some horizontal dessert afterward. Emily shuddered as she put out the clove and got up from the couch.

That was an image she immediately needed to bleach from her brain. Standing in front of her door, she looked out the peephole and saw Hotch. He was looking in the other direction, which she found strange. She took a deep breath and counted to 20 before pulling the door open.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Hotch stepped in, closing the door behind him. Every time he stepped into Prentiss’ condo his mind went back to that first night. She walked away from her dream for him, for Jason, and he still didn’t know how to repay her. She hadn't asked for anything in return…she didn’t want to be anyone’s pawn. For her sacrifice, and the care it must have taken, Hotch continued to hold her at arm’s length.

They’d managed to become friends over the last couple of years; Emily really looked out for him after the New York explosion and the Foyet incident. He couldn’t push her away anymore…Hotch needed a friend. She was loyal and loving. She loved his son and relished spending time with him. She loved to laugh and be laughed at. She didn’t care if he was in a bad mood, she would sometimes just sit with him and hold on.

Who wouldn’t want someone like that in their lives? Emily never pushed or prodded. She maintained her respectable distance in the field and continued to grow into one of the best profilers he’d ever had the privilege of working with. And she was a friend. There were times when that was even more important.

“Do you want a beer or something?” Emily asked.

“A cup of tea would be wonderful.”

Emily immediately noticed that Hotch looked and sounded tired. It was a strong contrast to how he was when he dropped Jack off earlier. Excited would be the wrong word. She’d only seen Hotch excited a few times and it was never about something like that. Still, he was looking and sounding optimistic, or at least neutral. Now he seemed the opposite.

“Alright,” She nodded. “Sit down, Hotch; I’ll make you something you'll like.”

Emily’s living room and kitchen were one big space so she watched Hotch walk into the room and sit down where she had been. She watched him stare off into space for a little while before putting her focus on the tea. There was an unopened box of blackberry pomegranate in her cabinet…Emily knew it was one of his favorites. She wasn’t even a big tea drinker yet bought the overpriced box almost a month ago at her favorite coffee house. She had no problem deluding herself as to why she did it.

“I really hope Jack wasn’t too much trouble.” He said when she sat the tea in front of him.

“Are you serious?” Emily asked sitting in the chair by the couch. “I hate to tell you this but I might have to keep him for my own.”

“You're gonna steal my son?” A smile swept across his solemn features.

“Yes I am. We had such a good time tonight. Nat came over and we made barbecue chicken pizza. Then Jack thumped us in Memory. Let me just say I'm happy that game isn’t part of our yearly recertification…I’d be forced to retire early.”

“Did he get to bed on time?”

“You're only asking me because you already know the answer.” Emily leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms. “Hotch…”

“He's got you wrapped around his finger.” He said.

“I can't help it. You got to go out on your date tonight; so did Jack.”

“Ooh, ouch, now I'm in competition with my five year old.”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Hotch shook his head and sipped his tea. “Mmm, its blackberry pomegranate.”

“I know what your favorite is. We’ll call it payback for bringing me Ethiopian Sidamo two days in a row the week before last in San Diego.”

“Well we were in a big city on an ugly case. The least you could have was a satisfying cup of coffee. I hope you didn’t feel like you owed me.”

“No,” It was Emily’s turn to shake her head. “Don’t be silly. You don’t mind if I smoke, do you? You caught me in the middle of winding down.”

“I don’t mind.” Hotch replied. “I've always been interested in this coming down ritual I've heard about. If I see the plan in action will you have to kill me?”

“It’s nothing so special.” She lit the Ziganov, taking her glass of wine from the coffee table and putting it on the side table by her chair.

“I know it involves one clove, maybe two if it was a bad day. What else?”

“Well it used to start with a long bath or shower before I joined the BAU. Now it’s just a quick wash of all the vital areas and changing into some comfy clothes.” Comfy clothes tonight were blue Adidas sweats, sports socks, and a tee shirt celebrating a century of the New York Metropolitan Opera. “After that I get a glass of wine, a clove, and put on good music. That’s it really.”

“That’s it?”

“Well what were you expecting?” Emily asked.

“I don't know, something mysterious.”

“Like what?” She pressed.

“Mysterious usually equals something I don’t know.”

“Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble.”

“You didn’t, honestly. I'm glad I know now…I almost feel like I'm part of it.”

“You are, tonight. Tell me about your date.” Emily lit the clove, sinking deeper into the comfy chair. She put her feet up on the ottoman.

“There's not much to tell.”

“I want you to tell me anyway.”

“Melinda is intelligent, funny, and attractive. She is going to be a wonderful girlfriend…for someone else.”

“Huh?”

“It’s not going to work out between us.” Hotch said.

“Why not?”

“There are a lot of reasons, Emily.”

“Like what?”

Hotch didn’t want to answer anymore questions. The cat was out of the bag though and they would be hard to avoid. He should have just said it was fine and left it at that but she would’ve known he was lying. She knew him. It seemed like even when she didn’t know him, she knew him. Maybe that had been what scared him about Emily Prentiss almost from the first day…she was one of the most perceptive people he’d ever met.

She didn’t feel the need to tell you what was on her mind until it was necessary. She let the wheels turn and the facts pile up. She pushed away pretense and speculation; she kept it real. That scared the hell out of him. Yet here he was on her couch. He wondered how much she would charge an hour.

“Women don’t like the hours; no one likes the hours. That’s why so many FBI agents break the rules and date each other. We’re the only ones who understand.”

“Doctors come close.” Emily replied. “I know this woman named Kim, she’s a doctor and…”

“Emily, don’t do that.” Hotch said.

“What?”

“Try to set me up with a friend so we can stop feeling about each other like we feel. I don’t think we’re gonna stop. It doesn’t matter if we see other people; it’s not going to work.”

Emily was stunned into silence. She just sat there, the clove burning away between her fingers. He said it, he actually said it. Oh thank God she didn’t have to say it. No, words didn’t matter…much.

She showed it. She showed it in the way she had his back, his front, and his side. She showed it in the way she hugged him a little too long before they had to leave mere hours after Haley’s funeral. She showed it when she sometimes put him in his place and he let her.

Aaron Hotchner didn’t let anyone put him anyplace. She showed it in the blackberry pomegranate tea. It was in her eyes, in her heart, and in her soul. They didn’t need words but they were amazing anyway.

“I'm not seeing anyone Hotch.” It was all she could think to say. Emily was surprised she got that much out. All she knew was that she needed to be calm. The second she couldn’t believe this was happening, it wouldn’t be.

“But they try, don’t they? They flirt and cajole and some are even blunt in how they go about it but you turn them all down.” He said.

“Well you said it…the hours are merciless.”

“You find time for Jack and I.”

“You're special.” Emily replied.

“How special?”

“You fall somewhere between my family and a weekend off.”

“That’s pretty damn special.” Hotch looked at her.

Emily nodded, taking one last puff of the clove as that was all that was left.

“Melinda called me on having someone else on my mind. I tried to tell her it was Jack but she knew that it wasn’t. How could I sit there with her when all I wanted was to be here with you? She invited me in, Emily…”

“She wanted your body.”

“Don’t make jokes.” He said trying and failing not to smirk.

“Why not? Natty always told me it’s better to laugh than to cry. She was always a ‘let a smile be your umbrella’ type.”

“I'm a stickler for the rules.” Hotch replied.

“Duh.”

“That’s not going to change how I feel about you.”

“Well I hope you don’t think its OK for me to know you care about me but just live with it while you ignore me.”

“I don’t ignore you, Emily.” He looked at her. “I tried that and it didn’t work.”

“We could mean something to each other.” She said.

“Don’t we already?”

“We could mean something more.”

“How?”

“I could finally give you a damn hug. I've wanted to for the longest time.”

They both stood and Hotch went to her. There was this moment when the world stood still. Emily went to put her arms around him and he kissed her. It was as simple as that; he put it all on the line. When he pulled her close Hotch could feel her heart thumping against his. Her lips trembled beneath his but she held onto him, arms tightening around his waist. He wanted her so much; couldn’t hide it from himself another instant. Still, he backed away.

“I should probably get Jack…I should probably go.”

“He’s sound asleep.” Emily replied, not letting her disappointment show. She knew it was coming. Even if she didn’t know this was coming, she still knew. That didn’t make much sense but that was the story of Hotch and Emily. He was always going to be Hotch; he was never going to fully let her in. “Don’t wake him now. You can just stay here.”

“Emily…”

“You can sleep in the guestroom with Jack. He’s a little boy and that’s a pretty big bed. You’ll need to get up early in the morning so you better get some sleep. Are you finished with that tea?”

“What? Um, yeah, I guess.”

She grabbed the mug, along with her quarter glass of wine and went into the kitchen. Emily wasn’t going to do this to herself. They would never be more than friends. It didn’t matter what he said…actions spoke louder than words.

She watched him just standing there as she washed out the glasses. He was thinking; Emily could see that from there. She didn’t know what he was thinking and couldn’t let herself care too much. She needed that energy to try to forget what it felt like in his arms.

“Well, goodnight.” Emily started making her way up the stairs.

“Aren't we going to talk about it?” He asked.

“Talk about what?” She stopped midway. “There's nothing left to talk about, Hotch. We either mean something to each other or we don’t.”

“It’s not don’t, Emily, you know that.”

“Well its not can't either. Sometimes you have to take the leap and see where you land.”

“Most likely the answer is flat on my face.” He said.

“That’s OK; I’d still be beside you. Goodnight.”

He said goodnight. He didn’t know how to respond to what she’d say. Emily had been there; she had always been there or tried to be. There were times when he probably should've been there for her but let something stop him. Maybe it was protocol, rules, duty, or even fear. Hotch didn’t know if he was more afraid to love Emily or not to.

If he ever hurt her, he wouldn’t forgive himself. Something deep down told him that she probably would. He needed to go to bed. As Hotch made his way back to the guestroom he didn’t think he’d be getting much sleep tonight…his mind was racing. Maybe by morning his heart and stomach would catch up with it.

***

  



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